Holistic Depth Psychotherapy - Nicole Ann Ditz, MA CMHC

Notes from the Chrysalis

Here are some intimate offerings written by amazing people who have been on the path of deep metamorphosis for many years. I am greatly blessed to have been and to be in supportive service to their souls and sacred journeys. May their words inspire you, touch your hearts, and encourage you to embark upon or continue along your own paths of self-transformation.

Butterfly

N Ditz

“Just like the butterfly,
I too will awaken
in my own time.”

~ Deborah Chaskin

Passing on the Gift of Empowerment:

"You must be the change you wish to see in the world." ~ Mahatma Gandhi

The Mermaid

"I continue to grow-pruning and dividing myself as the seasons swirl past. I walk our land often amongst rolling fields, mature oaks, maples and soft pines. I skip across the clear springs that burble up into streams and ponds. I often think of you on these walks and how much you have made a difference in my life. I still hear your voice asking those dreaded questions that needed answering. You are still with me. You are also helping others via me. I am able to ask the right questions, diffuse negative confrontation, and negotiate almost any problem. I have become the 'diplomat' at home, at work, in the grocery store, etc.

I am solid and smiling, firm, yet palpable. I am happy!! The internal maps you helped me decipher are continuously passed on and people wonder how I accrued such wisdom. Thanks for the compass. I walk everyday by craggy granite or endless conservation beaches, through birch forests or open farm lands. I crunch my boots through the frost, watch my breath rise like steaming tea, and I think of you. You still guide me. You showed me my strengths (and my weaknesses). I learned skills that sharpen and mature. I use them daily. Thank you for supporting me in becoming a kinder, more creative, 'better at everything' person. Although life is never without its challenges, I have learned to manage them well. I feel Whole. You really helped me form & heal."

The Daring Deer

"A 'psychotherapist' is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words." ~ Unknown

"Back then, I felt like I was Crazy. I experienced the chronic hell of shame, guilt, self punishment, self judgments that told me that I was 'stupid' and a 'loser'. I was distrustful of my perceptions. I acted like a doormat in personal and work relationships and couldn't say 'No!' I was always exhausted and overwhelmed with doing but never felt I did enough. I was afraid of being alone and also afraid of being close to others. I would passively wait for things to happen. I was dependent on authorities to tell me what to believe. I would consistently procrastinate and then feel ashamed.

Butterfly in a flower

N Ditz

"The butterfly's loping flight
carries it through the country of leaves
delicately, and well enough to get it
where it wants to go, wherever that is, stopping
here and there to fuzzle the damp throats
of flowers…"

~ Mary Oliver

In those days, I grappled with my inner witch who put me down and made me doubt that I knew what I was doing. I was unclear about what I wanted or needed. I was mostly discouraged about the future. I felt like Eeyore channeling my anger into passive sadness and hopelessness. I compared myself negatively to others. I was chronically anxious about my feelings. I was negative and pessimistic, black and white in my thinking, whipping myself internally, unsafe and insecure.

In my relationships with Nicole and group members I felt supported, helped, seen, safe, mirrored, encouraged to take risks and make changes. I learned I was not crazy. I felt inspired by watching other group individuals grow. I felt like I had something valuable to offer others. I became more honest, real, less stifled, more assertive, and less afraid. I learned to trust myself and others. I no longer felt so alone in the world and started forming closer friendships. I began to feel as though I had choices and that I didn't have to do anything I didn't want to do. I also began to experience the freedom of knowing what I felt and thought and figuring out what I wanted and how I could get what I needed. I realized that I didn't have to be perfect and that I could relax more. I compared and judged myself less. My thinking became more positive and hopeful. I experienced compassion with myself and learned that I would be ok no matter what.

I once painted a tree on a rock and gave it to Nicole as a gift and symbol. My image of my relationship with her was that she was a rock who helped me feel safe, strong and solid. I could- with the support of her rock- feel that I had (as the tree) choices that could grow like branches. Nicole taught me to not be afraid of my feelings but to use them as a tool for self-growth. She also taught me how to free myself from the blocks of shame. I began to experience myself as having secure roots, boundaries and freedom. Her constant faith in me helped me to develop faith in myself.

Today I have so much more of a Self. I experience much less anxiety and shame. I feel more comfortable with myself overall. I have learned to love myself and for that I am forever grateful! I am now trained to be a Passion Test Facilitator, and I help other people find and attain their goals, desires and visions for their life!!"

Nicole Ann Ditz, MA CMHC, Holistic Depth Psychotherapist

Voice Mail: (401) 573-6396  Email: info@holisticdepththerapy.com

Serving Rhode Island and Southeastern Connecticut