Musings on the Metamorphosis of a Psychotherapist
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~ Albert Schweitzer"In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit."
Companions in my Cocoon:
My self growth and relational competencies, from my twenties to the present, have been immensely enriched by my personal relationships. These intimate bonds have helped carry me back into the land of the living, have invigorated my reclaiming of more submerged parts of my self, have created a matrix of human stability, have sharpened my understanding of the elaborate array of character styles and wounds, have honed my ability to genuinely listen and honestly speak, and have introduced me to the growthful challenges and incomparable joys of being a self-in-connection rather than only a solitary being. I have learned experientially the magnificent transformative and healing power of being deeply rooted in the cocoon of human relationships. I learned that it is never too late to find others who foster one's psychological development, who help create a variation of an "adult childhood". Below are a few special companions and helpers.
The Fairy: a best friend of more than 35 years, indulged my mad cap and harebrained adventures; traveled with me from quiet benedictine monasteries to raucous radical feminist festivals across the country; helped me sweet talk our way into private men's circles; accepted invitations with me to homes of friendly strangers who served us wine and Cornish game hens. She is the one who validates me extravagantly: finding my quirky humor the funniest; my strange culinary concoctions, the tastiest; my outrageous ideas, the most brilliant. She is the light footed one who gleefully roams beside me across my far ranging psyche: exploring eagerly topics ranging from the darkly existential, to the sublime and the ridiculous; the one who first encouraged risk taking and imagination; the one who taught me how to regain innocence, spunk and an ability to seriously play.
The Jester: spoke to me in psychological riddles to help me be loose and limber and think outside the box; courted me at the most exquisite french restaurants and taught me to "eat life"; role modeled how to be messy, incorrigible, break social taboos and embrace imperfection; performed slapstick and mime on city corners; made me laugh so hard I cried; taught me that laughter and sadness are the most intimate bedfellows; showed me that wounds can sometimes be better served by a shot glass of dry banter, verbal jousting, mind twisting metaphor and wild wit.
The Hermit: helped me to seesaw through the most jagged of emotions; read me children's books and cryptic poems by e.e.Cummings; played evocative music that rearranged my bones, held me while I mourned and raged and remembered; whittled down my wooden heart to a vulnerable pulp, showed me how to be a tough adult and a tender child; revealed to me that a deep listening presence has heft and texture that can fill in some emotional holes; taught me the paradox of fierce attachment and separation; tore me apart so I could stitch myself back together more resilient and whole; pushed me out of the hideaway nest when it was time to fly, to move on and to let go.
~ Anais Nin"Each friend represents a world in us,
A world possibly not born until they arrive,
and it is only by this meeting that
a new world is born."
The Gnome: gave me my first calm, comfortable and safe hut to cultivate my inner treasures; saw my good heart even when I was scaly on the outside; encouraged me to stay in school as long as I wished and worked extra jobs to support us; helped me separate from my family in very early adulthood; showed me men can be soft and steadfast; granted me generous latitudes to fly carefree in vast meadows; waved cheerfully as I arrived and left like an incurably curious butterfly; created a supportive space in which I could grow my autonomy and individuality at my own rate and in my own good time.
The Shaman: teaches me to respect the value of the lowliest of creatures; whistles for me at the edges of deep forests; crafts me earthen symbols for comfort and energy; makes me steaming mugs of herbal tea to warm my belly; encourages me to shape shift between child, adolescent and adult selves; shows me that gentle compassion is a deeply healing potion; uses nature magic and kindness to soften my knotted defenses; journeys with me to metaphysical realms and altered states of consciousness; teaches me the ancient human wisdom of rich communion between all living and non-living beings; nurtures me patiently body and soul.
The Knight: my lifetime companion, builds me 'castles' in which to rest, work and play; stuffs the car like a sleigh for Christmas with ten years worth of goodies just to see my face alight with wonder and joy; expands my horizons across foreign lands and choppy seas; helps me enlarge and sharpen myself through raw debate and heated discourse; carries me in a symbolic pouch when I am exhausted yet pushes me to stand firmly on my own two big feet; rescues me in myriad ways during literal and emotional storms; creates stable and protective havens for me to continue rising phoenix like from my life's debris; helps me fight off dragons that rear up suddenly from deep within; forbids me from pandering to unfounded fears; awakens me from old nightmares that arise in garbled language while I sleep; continues to ride beside me on faithful steed into a place known as "life is good" and a country we call the "Far Enough".