Notes from the Chrysalis
Becoming One's Own Person: Acceptance, Trust, Truth:
"When I dare to be powerful-to use my strength in the service of my vision, then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid." ~ Audre Lorde
The Bold Bichon
"My relationship with Nicole has been the first one in which I have experienced consistent emotional safety and true acceptance.
I have learned that just because bad things have happened to me in childhood and adulthood who I am is not the reason they happened. I have also learned to better trust myself and to understand that thinking of myself is not always being 'selfish' or neglecting everyone else. It is ok for me to speak up when something isn't right for me. It is also ok to be honest with my feelings and truths, even when others become defensive or try to tell me I am wrong. I am entitled to have my own opinions and to have them be heard, respected, and understood.
~ Bob Marley"Get up, Stand Up
Stand up for your Rights
Get up, Stand Up
Don't give up the fight!"
I know now that I can feel good about helping and supporting others, but that I do not have to take care of others to the extent of sacrificing my own well-being. I am not so willing to compromise my own needs and desires anymore. I finally realize that I can be happy and feel worthy about being a hair stylist. I am proud of having my own business, and I now think of myself as successful rather than viewing myself as 'less than' others.
I am well on my way to refining and strengthening my bark!"
Son of The Bichon
(age 20-shared during a family session)
"I feel as though my mom has earned a different kind of respect from me because she has taken command of her own life. She now does things because she wants to do them not just because others expect it of her. She has really become her own person. My mom has had allot of struggles in her life. She has shown real determination in overcoming her challenges. I see her as being a successful business woman. Having an empowered mother makes me feel hopeful that I too can overcome some of my personal challenges in becoming a more confident adult. My mom is a role model for me!"
N Ditz
~ John Welwood"The heart itself cannot actually break, For its nature is soft and open. What breaks open when we see things as they are is the protective shell of ego identity we have built around ourselves in order to avoid feeling pain. When the heart breaks out of this shell, we feel quite raw and vulnerable. Yet this is also the beginning of feeling real compassion for ourselves and others."
"Who in the world am I? Ah, that is the great puzzle." ~ Lewis Carroll
Athena-Goddess of Wisdom
"What else matters, if you don't have you?
I am a strong woman. I am a fighter. I have persevered through many obstacles in my life, and I have done most of it on my own. As I write this, it strikes me that I would have never written and believed these words before when describing myself. This is a reminder to me as to how much I have grown.
Sometimes, I feel broken. I am like a 1,000 piece puzzle, and I'm trying to put myself back together. And I am. Piece by piece. It is hard to describe actually what this feels like. But for a long time, I didn't trust or accept myself. I was ashamed of who I was. When I think about what it is like to start to trust myself, I am moved to tears. I feel like it is such a special gift. For the first time I am starting to accept me. I am understanding who I am and who I am not: I am strong. I am capable. I am not my fear. I am not my shame. For most of my life, fear and shame held the driver's seat.
Now I am full with awareness. I am better able to know and to speak my truths. I am beginning to emotionally embrace true self-compassion. Can you imagine treating yourself with the kindness and reverence you deserve? It is at these moments, I feel the pieces of me falling into their rightful spots."
The Pussycat
(In moments, it is as simple and profound as learning to exclaim one's basic Truths)
D.H