Notes from the Chrysalis
The Psycho-Spiritual Path:
"The psyche contains an indwelling sense of its destiny of Wholeness." ~ Stephan Hoeller
N Ditz
~ Shakti Gawain"Consciousness is an ever-unfolding, deepening, and expanding process with no end point. We are infinite and complex beings and our human journey involves not just a spiritual awakening, but the development of all levels of our being- spiritual, mental, emotional, and physical and the integration of all these aspects into a healthy and balanced daily life."
"Each stage of psychological growth is a step closer to God." ~ Ken Wilber
The Monastic Heron
"For me, being in long term depth psychotherapy is like going to church. I believe that people who attend church regularly are often seeking to make a connection with God or a Higher Universal power. They wish to draw strength and well being from their practice of devotion. Attending to folks' spiritual well being in our culture is usually reserved for Sunday morning. All over the world religious practices differ, but the goals of the believers are similar in that they wish to find answers to deep existential questions: 'Why am I here? What is my purpose? What is the meaning of Life? How can I be the best person possible? What does God want me to do with my life? How can I find salvation?' And so on.
N Ditz
~ Mary Oliver"A blue preacher,
flew toward the swamp,
in slow motion.On the leafy banks,
An old Chinese poet,
Hunched in the white gown of his wings,Was waiting."
I have been in and out of psychotherapy throughout my life. I started seeing a therapist as a teenager in emotional crises. I was grappling with the angst of growing up in a dysfunctional family in which I longed for love and support but instead was treated coldly as an object that needed to be dressed up prettily to reflect well on my parents. During my adulthood, I originally sought out therapy with Nicole because I was once again in crises. I was floundering in the treacherous waters of trying to raise children in an emotionally abusive marriage.
The initial years of psychotherapy with Nicole were mainly focused on helping me to navigate and extract myself from what proved to be not one, but two successive and brutally painful primary relationships. Nicole has also guided me through other challenging situations involving my career, parenting issues, self-care issues, and learning how to better communicate and set boundaries.
For a time, therapy was like a relief valve installed on the red hot boiler of my emotional turbulence. Once my life was in calmer and safer waters, I was able to turn my attention inward and begin to address my own personal existential questions. Going to psychotherapy was no longer just a place to learn crises management skills, but rather it became a 'church- like' sanctuary for me: a place of deep self-reflection and contemplation.
My therapeutic hour has become my sacred time: a quiet place without the distractions of everyday living where I can concentrate my energy on defining my own beliefs and values rather than having them defined from without. In my deepening relationship with Nicole, I am now beginning to know and trust my own real feelings, needs, and longings. I am learning to negotiate and share my emotional tides in relationships more mindfully without compromising or sacrificing myself as much. I am slowly moving from isolation to forming more intimate connections. I am also learning how to put my foot down!
For me, depth psychotherapy is a very meaningful spiritual path in which I am integrating all of the experiences that have led me to whom I am today. This is a path of devotion to the process of getting closer and closer to my Real Heron, to being Whole, to discovering Myself. For now I am still becoming..."