Holistic Depth Psychotherapy - Nicole Ann Ditz, MA CMHC


V.Y and N Ditz

"'What is Real?' asked the Rabbit.
'It doesn't happen all at once,' said the Skin Horse, 'You become. It takes a long time. That is why it doesn't often happen to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out, and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand.'"

~ Margery Williams

Notes from the Chrysalis

Shedding Down to Real:

"Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You." ~ Dr. Seuss

Veronica L. Bunny

"Veronica L. Bunny started life as a lonely, unwanted and unloved bunny. She spent many years trying to get the love she craved from her parents, but she never received the love she needed in order to flourish into a well-adjusted adult. She endured years of physical violence, emotional neglect and complete abandonment by her parents.

Veronica tried being a model student, but instead of having a proud Papa, he would ask why the A- wasn't an A or why the B+ wasn't an A. One time she received a C on her report card and she was grounded for a year: one entire year of coming home directly from school, not being able to play outside the yard, not being permitted to visit friends at their homes, not even being allowed to participate in a single after school activity.

So Veronica tried gaining love and approval by being a good girl. She regularly helped to take care of the younger baby bunnies, prepared dinner, washed the dishes, and cleaned the house. But the Mommy bunny never validated her helpfulness at all. She was too busy and preoccupied with her own problems. She spent weeks crying at the kitchen table, depressed with her life, and didn't notice Veronica's efforts. Veronica loved her little brother and sisters and read bed time stories to them every night and held them tightly when their parents were fighting and hitting each other.

Veronica bunny saved every penny she earned from her part-time job in high school and then worked two jobs while in college to pay for her tuition. She knew if she was going to make something of herself she needed to get a good education. She put herself through school without any assistance from her parents. Despite promises to help, her parents never even bought Veronica a single book for school.

Then Veronica bunny grew into a woman and married. She had babies of her own and found herself in an emotionally abusive marriage. She found the courage to divorce and take care of her babies on her own. She was determined not to raise her children how she was raised. She was committed to providing her children with a loving, nurturing home and to being the good mother she never had.

But she still hadn't found happiness. So she sought in-depth psychotherapy. She found that after years of therapy and hard work, you can become "Real". Being Real comes when you realize that it doesn't matter if you have crooked teeth, cottage cheese thighs, a pregnancy pooch or grumpiness in the morning. What matters most is that you have a good heart and are true to yourself. I, 'Veronica L. Bunny', am increasingly realizing that I am worthy just for being me. I am learning to demand respect from my partner, friends, co-workers and family."

The Culinary Crow

(wrote this poem about his personal experience of paring down to realness in psychotherapy)

Artichoke Heart

N Ditz

My Artichoke Heart

"Therapy is my hard, sharp edge-
It is the knife that pares away
the stiff leathery outer layers
of my artichoke heart.
Trusted and steady hands help guide
the removal of those layers,
long used to protect but unable to nourish.
With their removal, and an acerbic,
sometimes prodding
squeeze of lemon,
the true flavor is brought out into the open.
It is in those real moments of Truth
that we try to live."

Nicole Ann Ditz, MA CMHC, Holistic Depth Psychotherapist

Voice Mail: (401) 573-6396  Email: info@holisticdepththerapy.com

Serving Rhode Island and Southeastern Connecticut